i
The bus trip was shorter than I expected it would be. I arrived at the Summer Capital a few hours earlier than my friends assumed.
‘I am here at last,’ I told myself. I breathed in the cold winds, it was not summer but I was visiting. It was not summer, it was the holiday season, much like winter…winter felt by my skin and winter felt within.
I put down my bags, and some extra little packages for some persons dear to me. I was not sure what exactly I was doing here, but there was a different meaning to this trip. Uncertainty wrapped me, yet there was a deeper sense of meaning to my visit. Something unexpected, perhaps. Something that would take my breath away, and sweep me off my feet, a surprise.
“Sis, meet Voltaire, Voltaire my foster sister Kahlil,” a voice interrupted my thoughts. It was my foster brother Gary, a cadet from the Philippine Military Academy. He was introducing me to his companion, his classmate from the PMA.
“Hi,” was all I managed to say as I extended my hand in introduction. He took it, and I let go of his hand after we shook. “Where have you been?” I turned my attention to Gary, who was almost half an hour late.
“We had dates, you know…” he sarcastically remarked. “We left them just to fetch you. That’s how important you are to me,” he said as he jokingly punched me in the arm.
“Wow, thanks.” And I pushed him.
“Can I have your bags?” Gary’s classmate asked me, and I willingly complied. The pain in my arms was killing me.
“Thanks, what’s your name again, Voltes Five?” I joked, trying to remember his name.
He smiled at me and said, “Volts.”
ii
‘Where the hell is he?’
I was supposed to meet Gary at the Visitor’s Center because the 100th Nite Show was running this evening. The show exhibited the talents of the cadets, and some antics were expected too. My phone beeped its usual annoying sound and my text message was from Gary. I was supposed to proceed to the covered court.
‘Who is he kidding?’ I asked myself. I was to go there alone, but I had no choice. I have the option of walking alone or just wait for the show to end. I opted to go with the first.
I traversed Flirtation Walk alone, wishing he was my by side. It has been years since we walked this way together. He was a cadet himself, all tall and gray. I was so proud to have been seen walking around with the most charming person I know, and I know that this person loves me. And even though I was not holding his hand in mine, there was an unspoken bond between us.
Bright lights gave my eyes a squint, and at the same time snatched me away from dreamland. It seems I’ve been having a lot of thoughts going in and out of my mind lately.
As I entered the covered court, a number of “Good evening, Ma’am” ‘s echoed. I nodded, tried to hide the identifiable tokens I had with me, and smiled my acknowledgement. I chose a seat and made myself comfortable. Just then a voice came… “Ladies and gentlemen, good evening… Let us welcome our first class cadets.” And a proud sound came in the background as lights dimmed and spotlights focused on the doors. Then came in the Immaculates, as they were called. I saw Gary and his other classmates, proud and happy. I sat back and smiled. ‘They must be glad they have visitors…I couldn’t even make it to his 100th Nite Show before…can’t imagine it has been three years…’ My thoughts trailed.
The show began with the song Ikaw Lamang by their underclassmen. Towards the end of the song, the underclassmen went down the stage and gave their first class cadets roses. It was so heart felt. I felt tears brim and finally fall down my cheeks.
iii
We were walking towards Longayban Hall for a small gathering. My stomach was screaming food and my head read H-U-N-G-R-Y.
“Did you enjoy? Did you understand it?” Gary asked.
“Yes to both!” I answered back. “It’s just that I’m starving…”
“Then make fast!” He ordered as his pace went slightly faster. I caught up with him as I savored the cold air. Shivers went down my spine, I felt vulnerable against the winds and even though I believe I must have been a little less than overweight, I suddenly felt scared that the winds might take me somewhere far.
We reached the hall in a couple of strides more. No conversations were held, just purely screams of silence against the flesh-penetrating cold. The class baron said a prayer and everyone suddenly felt alive. I, too, became aware of everyone who was pushing his or her way towards the food. I slugged it out with them, and when something on my right hand glistened, all the uniformed hands abruptly went out of sight.
I was savoring my kakanin when Gary interrupted, “Sis, someone is looking for you.”
I looked up and saw Voltaire. I smiled and thought, ‘transformations do happen when one is in uniform.’ Up to this moment, I didn’t realize how charming his smile was, how nicely fixed his hair was and how he smelled so clean.
“Uhmmm…for you.” He smiled as he gave me the rose that was given to him by their underclassmen.
Again, “thanks” was all I managed to say. But this time, my heart would have beaten the bombs they dropped over there at Kabul.
iv
A night out. That spelled fun somehow. Gary has just invited me to go out with him and Volts. The mere mention of his name suddenly lit up the night sky. In my heart, the moon beamed its brightest light.
We arrived at the noisiest place I’ve ever been. There was a live band playing, there was dancing and lots of drinking. Gary had a companion, who he claimed to be his friend. And so Volts and I were left to share a world of our own.
An exchange of stories was done, we swanked of our feats while he drank beer and smoked his cigarette. There were a couple of high fives during the most amusing moments of our conversation amid the noisy setting. But there was one high five that made all the difference, because when our hands met in agreement and approval, he never let go of it.
All night he just kept his hand locked with mine, and I know that years from now, I will still remember the warm feeling his closeness brought. It felt so right, and our hands fit perfectly.
v
“Sis, seats are accorded for you in the PMA bus enroute to Manila. Lt. Calderon made pretty sure of that.”
My thoughts were racing like wildfire… ‘Is it really okay if I take that free bus to Manila? What would other people say if they see a civilian riding the PMA bus? And a female at that?!’ My heart was indeed hammering away again.
As if to ease my tension Gary said, “A few other civilians will be riding with us, too.”
I then boarded the bus and among the many crew cuts and gray hues, I found Volts and he motioned for me to sit beside him.
“Hi!” I said enthusiastically, as I settled my things in the aisle.
“Do you want to take the window seat?” Volts offered.
“No, thanks. I think I’m pretty much comfortable where I am now.” I shyly replied.
“This will be one heck of a bus ride…” Volts murmured as he sat back and looked away.
vi
Everyone was far from awake. Last night’s gimmick got the best of me, I was also in deep slumber yet something sublime awoke my psyche, and led me to open my eyes. Volts’ face was just inches apart from mine. I knew he was going to kiss me but instead of pushing him, I closed my eyes and let our lips brush.
Then he lifted my face and gave me a lingering kiss. Our lips touched in a pure and tender kiss.
I never wanted the moment to end. I wished I could cast a spell like what the wicked witch did to Sleeping Beauty and her kingdom so that the entire world would fall into a deep sleep and that the only persons awake will be Volts and I.
After that blissful moment, I opened my eyes and noticed how brown his eyes were. How his eyebrows were perfectly shaped. How perfectly formed his nose was and how his lips tasted so sweet.
The kiss was something unexpected, it took my breath away and swept me off my feet. It was a surprise.
vii
I’m back in Manila, with the warm weather.
I took off the pendant and the miniature ring and stared at them while thinking long and hard. I now only have once concern…how would I tell Mark I’ve met someone else?
December 2001
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