The Odds - Fiction

Silent tears fell from my eyes as I heard her words. Those were the sharpest words I have ever heard from her since I understood the workings of the world. I could not understand, and she did not make me, why she will never approve of the only woman I ever wasted.

My childhood was wonderful. As far as I can remember, Mommy, me and my brother lived alone together in a small but decent abode. There were times I would ask about my Daddy and Mom would bite her lip and shrug her shoulders. As I grew, I learned not to ask anymore for I never did get answers.

I also remember how Papa came along. He came to our otherwise nonchalant life and painted it with many brilliant colors. Mom was very happy – something I had never seen and felt before. Sure, she worked hard and there were many times she had to bring me and my brother to work. I never heard her complain, though. But sometimes in the dark of our cozy little room, I could hear her sniff and when I try to wipe her tears away, she will always tell me that everything will be okay even if it’s just Mommy.

But when Papa came, all that changed. There were no more tears and the deepest of me knew something wonderful had happened. I never felt that gnawing feeling I get when I see other kids given a back ride by their dads. Papa gave me and my brother those and more. From that time, I resolved never to ask Mom about my own dad. I am complete with my brother, Mom and Papa.

Shortly before I graduated from elementary, Mom took me to my favorite Italian restaurant and asked me if I ever felt lacking. I remember giving her a puzzled look and asked straightforward, “Why should I be?” Then she told me that this is the time to know about my father. My heart skipped a beat as she told me how they were not blessed with marriage but were blessed with two boys. She finally made me understand that their relationship did not prosper into one worthy of marriage and lifetime commitment. She wanted to be the best Mom and she will never be able to make it with her constant fights with Dad. They had to part.

At that moment, I looked at her and I knew she was waiting for me to say something.

I took her hand and said, “You are the best, Mom.” I saw her fighting back the tears as she paid the bill. Then she handed me the gadget I had long wanted.

Little by little after that talk, she began telling me things about my father. How he sent us financial support back then and how he would come to our birthday celebrations. She told me I got my artistic abilities from him and how my brother looks a lot like him. She told me how she had come to him for money but it just stopped coming. The last she heard was my father getting married just months after my brother was born. I told her I do not want to know anything about my father anymore. I do not want anything to do with him as he had shown nothing for us.

So instead, she told me of her short-lived affairs in pursuit of lifetime partnership. After failing, she resulted to thinking she was destined to be a single parent. But everything changed when she crossed paths with the man I called Papa.

When I was finishing my secondary education, she introduced me to my godparents who were now high ranking officers in the military. I never saw my Mom’s wide affiliations with the service until that time. It opened new doors for me, as well as for my brother. By the end of my first year in college as an architecture student, I have decided to make a go for the Philippine Military Academy Entrance Examination. My brother, being likewise qualified, joined me that day.

Both of us passed the exam as well as the physical tests. Two weeks before we were to report to V. Luna in Quezon City, Papa and Mom had a along talk with us. Mom was all against it because of her many heartbreaks with PMAyers. But my brother and I were too set in making a career in the military so Mom just posted us a challenge: to graduate with Latin honors. She said that any impeding sign that we would not meet that goal, we are free to come home.

The four years were really rigorous but Mom made it a point that neither of us gets special treatment despite her connections. Our Mom and our sister were our partners during socials or what we call hops and formal dinners. Mom gave us freedom to look for other partners though but both my brother and I kept her challenge at heart and did not allow any distractions.

During our last year, visitors from a university in Manila came. I was one of the cadets to entertain them and that was the first time I met and saw Yuna. Her name so stuck with me because my name is Yuri.

She had bright and well rounded eyes and a very infectious laugh. I could tell she was always the light of the party. Before the day ended, despite the jitters, I could not help myself from getting her cellphone number. I realized right at that moment that I could not lose her.

We started conversing and I told Mom about her. Mom was elated because at long last her boy has come of age. She asked me if I was already courting her. I told her no, at least not yet. I was waiting and still working hard for my Latin honors.

All those times, Yuna and I texted each other but I remained casual, no matter how hard that was for me. She mentioned that some of her classmates would be attending our last formal dinner and asked if I already invited someone.

“It has always been my Mom or Bea.”

“Bea…your…” she sounded a bit skeptical.

I let out a smile as I sensed jealousy but casually said, “my sister…half sister.”

“Oh… I thought she was your girlfriend.” I heard her sigh that obviously meant relief.

At that time I knew this was the right moment.

“Yuna…”

“Yes?”

“I think it’s obvious now that I really like you, don’t you think?”

“Well, well, cadet. I thought you’d never say that.” I sensed overwhelming laughter from her.

“But I made a promise to my Mom, that I will graduate with flying colors, and I don’t want to pester you with a long distance relationship either. So I’m saying…”

“That you’re hoping I’ll wait until after graduation?” She finished me off.

“Uhmmm…yes…kind of…” my voice trailed off as I felt a ton lifted off my chest.

“What made you think I’d say yes?” Her voice sounded angry now.

My face fell and silence followed.

After what seemed like eternity, she burst into laughter and said, “you can’t take a joke, can you? Yes! I will!”

“Really?”

“Just make me a promise. I know you’re good at this.”

“Yes, Yuna?”

“Just your Mom and Bea, okay?”

“You’ve got yourself a deal…Yuna?”

“What? Trying to bargain already?” she laughed.

“I love you…” My heart was hammering as I said that. It was my first time.

“Until graduation”

I was more inspired day in and day out and when graduation came, Mom was all teary eyed as the announcements came:

“YURI ELLO PEÑA, PASAY CITY, CUM LAUDE. FOR HAVING GARNERED THE HIGHEST GRADE POINT FOR CADETS JOINING THE NAVY, YURI ELLO PEÑA IS AWARDED THE NAVY SABER.”

I saw Mom’s eyes widen in amazement but she was near breakdown when my brother’s name was called.

“YUAN ELLO PEÑA, PASAY CITY, CUM LAUDE. FOR HAVING GARNERED THE HIGHEST GRADE POINT FOR CADETS JOINING THE AIR FORCE, YUAN ELLO PEÑA IS AWARDED THE AIR FORCE SABER. FOR HAVING GARNERED THE HIGHEST GRADE POINTS AMONG THE CADETS OF THE GRADUATING CLASS, YUAN ELLO PEÑA IS PRESENTED THE PRESIDENTIAL SABER.”

My Mom could not believe that my brother became top graduate. We intended to surprise her with our awards and she was really caught off guard.

I heard Papa, Bea and some of our friends and foster families cheer for us. When the ceremony was over, I finally introduced Yuna to my Mom as my girlfriend.

Mom asked my brother jokingly if he had one to introduce too and he said, “two…” as he held out his saber to Mom.

Mom was very sweet to Yuna and I knew right then and there that they clicked.

I enjoyed the first three years of my service and after that felt that Yuna and I were destined for forever. I told Mom of our engagement and said that she prefers we do away with the traditions as I have more papers to follow up.

When Yuna and I went to her parents, they did not have any arguments about it. Her dad also came from PMA but did not graduate so we had a long talk about his days and mine.

Before nearly completing my necessary permits to get married, I came home one day with Mom crying, holding my clearances.

“Yuri, you cannot marry Yuna. I will never consent to it.” She was begging.

But I was angry, “Why Mom?! Why?”

“I just said it can not be!” she was angry now.

“All my life, Mom, it has just been about what you want. Why can it be what I want this time? For chrissake Mom, this is MY LIFE!”

“Yuri!!! It can not be because…” she clutched her chest and gasped for air.

“Mom…” I called her as tears fell from my eyes.

“Don’t…. Ma…”

Mom had a heart attack and she spent several days at the ICU. Papa, Bea and Yuan kept vigil. I do not want her to see me. I felt responsible for this especially when the doctors told us she is not responding to treatments and medication.

As her last hours came, she motioned for me to come hear her. Papa gave me some papers and said, “Yuri, this is the reason why you can not marry Yuna.”

I took them, held my Mommy’s hands and told her I’m sorry. After looking at me, she kissed us, her two boys and her daughter on the forehead and she kissed Papa on the lips. All of us were crying now. She shook her head in an attempt to stop our grieving. She smiled, took her last breath and left us all wailing.

Silent tears fall from my eyes as I looked at the three papers Papa handed me. It was my original birth certificate, the birth certificate I had been using and Yuna’s. Mom changed mine and my brother’s to Papa’s just before Bea was born. My original surname was Guzman, just like Yuna’s. I let out a little smile and the thought that we were really meant for each other entered my mind. But I never expected seeing what was in those documents I was holding. On the father’s name, there it was. Yuna’s and mine were the same.